Introducing a dildo into your relationship –Don’ts

Bringing a dildo into a relationship can be a touchy subject. If your partner has never used a sex toy he or she may feel offended by the suggestion to use one. There are many reasons why people are weirded out by using a dildo (see misconceptions about dildos) but the main reason is just plain and simple –
fear of the unknown.

Approach the situation with consideration for your partner’s feeling and be open to listen to their point of view. Here are a couple of things you want to steer clear of doing when bringing up dildos to your partner.

Don’t

Whip your dildo out in the middle of sex

This could prove to not only cause your partner to outright say no, but it may be detrimental to your relationship as well. Think about it. If your partner does not know that you have a dildo, he or she may feel like you lied or tricked them into doing something. This move might also make your partner feel inadequate since you needed a sex toy to secretly fulfill yourself. This will lead to hurt feelings, possibly resentment and the idea that you have a sexual advantage over your partner.

Bring up the subject at a bad time

Imagine this, you and your partner are lovingly holding each other after a mind blowing sack session. You gently cares his or her hair and then say, “let’s use a dildo next time” or worse the down and dirty deed hasn’t even started yet and you start talking about sex toys. Bringing up your dildo at the wrong time could be a serious mood buster and if the topic is brought up before, during or after sex it could offend your partner. Don’t bring up the subject when the conversation will be rushed, because it will not be worked through. Talking about sex is difficult for some couple and if you don’t allot time to for the two of you to express yourselves it will never happen.

Be accusatory when discussing using a dildo together

Never suggest using a dildo with your partner because you think he or she is not up to par sexually. A dildo should not be used to fix or mask a sexual incompatibility, it should be used to enhance already good sex. Stay away from phrases like “you don’t do this or that” or “you never . . . “ This will only make your partner want to do less more often.

Make your partner feel invisible next to your dildo

Finally, if you get to the point where you partner is open and willing to experiment with a dildo, don’t make your sex toy the star of the show, in other words pay attention to your partner! Show your partner what you like and tell him or her how it feels. Encourage your partner by putting his or her hand over your to control the motion. Most important, make the grand finale a two-person act sans the dildo. At least in the beginning, it is important to let your partner know that you are completely satisfied with him or her and only seek to try something new with the dildo.