Introducing a dildo into your relationship – Dos

So now that you know what not to do when trying to get your partner to understand why it is sooo great to use a dildo together, you need to know what to do to close the deal.

Remember, just because you haven’t said or done anything bad, doesn’t mean that your partner is going to be ready for dildo play. You might still be treading on thin ice, so be cautious and always compassionate.

Here are some helpful tips that might turn you dildo talk into dildo play!

Do

Bring up dildos in the conversation when you both are relaxed and comfortable

Make sure a discussion about dildos doesn’t happen when your partner is agitated. Sit down and relax or make a nice dinner. Set a comfortable ambiance in somewhere other than the bedroom, so your partner does not feel anxious or pressured.

Explain what a dildo is and does

As silly as it sounds, your partner might not know what a dildo is. He or she may have some common misconceptions about dildos that just need to be cleared up. Tell your partner the basics about a dildo and let them know that it is in no way a substitute for his or her affection, and only a way to spruce up an already fantastic love life!

Let your partner know that you are already satisfied with your sex life

Reinforce to your partner that there is nothing wrong with your sex life, in fact if you were dissatisfied you probably would have given up on talking about it. Tell your partner that you enjoy the two of you alone, but that you are curious about the way he or she could make you feel with a sex toy.

Find an adult movie that discusses and shows dildo play

Naughty Nina Hartley has made some sex for dummies-like DVDs that are great for any one interested in any kind of sex. “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Sex Toys” is the perfect adult movie for you and your partner to watch together. Laugh at and learn about sex toys together. Comment on what the porn stars are doing and express that you would like to try it too.

Find a non pornographic movie about dildos

Some partner might not watch porn at all or together. That’s ok. The Sinclair Intimacy Institute has created a video called “Making Sex Fun with Games and Toys” that touches on the topic of including sex toys in your relationship. The videos are put together by well known sex educators, therapist and researcher who have helped cement better relationships between many couples. As with the adult movie, discuss what is going on in the video with your partner.

Listen to your partner

If nothing else, listen to your partner. He or she has some very important things to say. Sex is a part of communication in the relationship, as is the conversation. If you don’t take the time to hear him or her out and be compassionate about their feelings and concerns dildos in your sexual routine will most likely be a no no.